Transfer Talk can hardly contain its excitement at the news that Laurent Robert is set for a Premier League return.
It seems Derby got wind of Ipswich's plan to snaffle the moody winger and decided to hijack the operation.
Would you rely on the Frenchman to keep you in the top flight? Almost certainly not.
But the prospect of seeing him steadfastly refuse to track back or pass while scoring the occasional screamer is an enticing one.
How fed up of the Nicolas Anelka farrago are you going to be by the end of the month?
We'll spare you the gory details as this one promises to be a daily staple. Bolton, Chelsea or Man City? Prepare to be bored to within an inch of your life.
No mention of Dimitar Berbatov (apart from this, obviously) for similar reasons. He wants out.
Meanwhile Chelsea are hot on the heels of Lokomotiv Moscow centre-back Branislav Ivanovic.
Roy Keane needs a striker, and thinks Leroy Lita might just be his man. Reading will be hoping they can trouser a comparable sum to the ludicrous £6 million Sunderland paid for Michael Chopra.
But Keano's bid to snaffle Robbie Savage could be derailed, with Derby and Fulham forming an orderly queue for the Welsh hatchet man.
Better news for the Irishman - Phil Bardsley will snub Sheffield United to join Sunderland after correctly identifying which of the two is a Premier League club. For the moment.
Who needs an agent? Certainly not Goran Pandev, who is starting transfer rumours all by himself.
The talented Lazio forward has linked himself to Liverpool, Everton and Tottenham. And why not?
Barcelona want Cesc Fabregas. And Cristiano Ronaldo . And Xabi Alonso. And Alexander Hleb. And a big ice cream with a flake in it.
You know that £6 million that Liverpool were going to spend on Gabriel Heinze before nasty Manchester United sold him to Real Madrid?
Well, it has now been earmarked (literally) for Chelsea second-stringer Wayne Bridge who, if Transfer Talk remembers rightly, nearly joined Liverpool a few years ago.
But Rafa Benitez could lose out on Javier Mascherano, with the club's American owners reluctant to shell out £17m to sign him permanently, and Juventus lurking menacingly.
Fulham manager Roy Hodgson is already fed up with Diomansy Kamara and David Healy. He will roll a five-million-sided dice on Watford's Marlon King. Yikes.
Celtic are set to sign Brazilian defender Coelho who, as well as being allergic to gluten, is most famous for his spectacular shoulder barge on the deeply irritating Kerlon, whose party piece is to dribble while bouncing the ball on his forehead.
Coelho was banned for 120 days by the Brazilian league but received the thanks of a grateful nation for dumping the 'seal dribbler' on his backside.
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